PS 635 
.Z9 
E1335 
Copy 1 




\' (Denhari-i ^Royalty Tlayi g| 



Gettin ^ 
QAcquainteS 



by 

Geor^iaEarle 

nr. S. T)enhon & Company 

Ihihlhher^ • Chicago 

"Price 35 CenU 



Jtaxs. 




Plays for Schools and Colleges 

AARON BOGGS, FRESHMAN 

By Walter Ben Hare. Comedy in 3 acts; 8 males, 8 
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AFTER THE GAME 

By LIndsey Barbee. Comedy In 2 acts; 1 male, 9 
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ALL A MISTAKE 

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ALL ON ACCOUNT OF POLLY 

By Harry L. Newton. Con.-edy in 3 acts; 6 males, 10 
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AS A WOMAN THINKETH 

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AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW 

By LIndsey Barbee. Comedy in 3 acts; 6 males, 14 fe- 
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CIVIL SERVICE 

By Walter Ben Hare. Drama in 3 acts; 6 males, 5 fe- 
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THE CLASS SHIP 

By Edith F. A. U. Painton. Commencement play- 
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CLUBBING A HUSBAND 

By Edith F. A. U. Painton. Comedy in 3 acts; 12 fe- 
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By LIndsey Barbee. Comedy in 3 acts; 11 males, 10 
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TKE GRADUATE'S CHOICE 

By Edith F. A. U. Painton. Commencement playlet; 12 
females. Time, 35 minutes. Price, 15 Cents. 

T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 

154 West Randolph Street CHICAGO 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



I 



Gettin' Acquainted 

A Small Town Comedy 



BY 

Georgia Earle 

AUTHOR OF 

"The Lie That Jack Built," "The Rented Lady," "The 

Porch- Climber," "The Lovejoy Twins," "The 

Villain," "Hit chin' Up Amos" 

AND CO-AUTHOP. 

' The Mark of the Beast,' ' {Produced at the Princess, New York) 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 






Please Read Carefully^ 




HE PROFESSIONAL STAGE-RIGHTS 

in fhis play are ^ridlly reserved, and all 
applications for its use should be ad- 
dressed to fhe publishers . Amateurs 
may obtain permission to produce it on 
payment of a fee of five dollars ($5.00) for eack 
performance, in advance. Correspondence on 
fhis subject should be addreosed to T. S. Denison 
& Company, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago, 111. 

-o ^o ^::> 

C/4ttention is called to the penalties provided 
by the Copyright Law of the United States of 
America in force July 1, 1909, for any infring,e- 
ment of the owner's rights, as follows : 

Sec. 28. That any person who willfully and for profit 
shall infringe any copyright secured by this Act, or who 
shall knowingly and willfully aid or abet such infringement, 
shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon convic- 
tion thereof shall be punished by imprisonment for not 
exceeding one year or by a fine of not less than one hundred 
dollars nor more than one thousand dollars, or both, io the 
discretion of the court. 

COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY GEORGIA EARLE 
CALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

TMP96-007249 
©C;.D 53JU 
Uu\i 17 1919 



'^0 \ 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

CHARACTERS. 

Jane Stewart A Spinster 

Priscilla Stewart Her Sister, also a Spinster 

JoHx PuRDY A Wooer for Fifteen Years 



Time — TJie Present. 



Pi^ACE — 7'he sitting-room of the old Stewart Iwuie 
stead in a small Vermont torcn. 



Time of Playing — Txcenty-five Minutes. 



Produced Eighty-first Street Theatre, Neic York City, 
May 6, 1915. 

By the fnlloiving players: 

Jane Stewart Georgia Earle 

Priscilla Stewart Nellie Callahan 

John Purdy James O'Neill 

As played for three years over the Orpheum and Keith Circuits. 

Jane Stewart Georgia Earle 

Priscilla Stewart rirginia Russell 

John Purdy Emmet JVhitney 

5 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. 

Jane Stewart — Crisp and snappy in her manner, 
a joung woman of decision and initiative. She is 
used to running things, and while hkeable and whole- 
hearted, means to get her own way. She wears a 
trim white shirtwaist and white skirt, Avith her hair 
becomingly but simply arranged. 

Priscilla Stewart — The clinging-vine, adoring 
type, always trying to smooth things OA^er, Just a 
little bit of a doormat. She has none of Jane's 
crispncss of speech, but is much more gentle. She 
is very feminine in her clothes, a pretty, old-fashioned 
dimity or organdy, that looks "country" and yet is 
pretty and attractive, is suitable. Her hair is ar- 
ranged more softly than Jane's. Her keynote is 
sweetness and womanliness. 

John Purdy — Is the honest, slow-thinking, yet 
withal determined type, when he once gets started. 
He doesn't show how masterful he is until Jane's 
teasing finally wakes him up, and then he dominates 
the situation. His clothes are the "best" clothes of 
the small town, middle-aged man who makes no pre- 
tense of being a dude. There is no caricature in 
John's clothes, it is rather John himself who is 
uncomfortable and awkward in them, the stiff col- 
lar particularly causing him inconvenience. He is 
clumsy and bashful, all "Yankee" but not a "Rube." 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



PROPERTY PLOT. 

Old-fashioned horse-hair furniture, settee or sofa, 
straiglit-back chairs, arm chair, large old-fash- 
ioned rocking-chair with rung across the front, 
small rocker. 

]Marble-top table, small old-fashioned table or 
"stand." 

What-not, with old-fashioned ornaments on it. 

Organ and stool. (The organ does not have to bi 
played.) 

Hymn books and vases of flowers on organ. 

Large Bible on marble-top table. 

Old-fashioned ornaments on mantel, candlesticks, 
vases of flowers. 

Andirons at fireplace. 

Grandfather's clock or old-fashioned mantel clock. 

Hat rack. 

Rag carpet. 

Old-fashioned pictures on wall. 

Lace or chintz curtains at window. 

Tidies on chairs. 

Footstool or hassock. 

Sofa pillows (2). 

Match safe and matches. 

Stone mug. 

Doorbell (jingle bell if possible). 

Note. — The effect desired is that of an old-fash- 
ioned room in a New England home, as unlike the 

usual stage setting as possible. 



LIGHT PLOT. 

Lights full up all through. 

Bimch lififhts at doors and window. 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



CURTAIN CUES. 

First Curtain — Warning — Jane : "Oh, yes, I liave ! 
There's Priscilla!" 

Curtain — John : "Over t' the parson's Avith your 
witness, to git acquainted !" 

Second Curtain^ — Warning — John: "You git out 
now ! I got somctliin' private to say to Priscilla !" 

Curtain — John : "Ain't agoin' to say nuthin' ! Go- 
in' to kiss you !" 



SCENE PLOT. 

Plain Chamber. 

Doors R. 3 and L. 2. 

Interior backing for both doors. 

Window C. 

Garden backing for window\ 

Fireplace and mantel R. 2. 

Garden Drop 



< Backing .window 
^,0,- ~/ — 1 I 

o^*^-' n.Z\ 7 n I 1 n 

^- " 3 Hat Rack Cha.r^Flowers Table q 



Footlights 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C., right 
center ; L., left ; 1 E., first entrance ; U. E., upper 
entrance ; R. 3 E., right entrance, up stage, etc. ; 
up stage, away from footlights ; down stage, near 
footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing the 
audience. 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



The scene is the old-fashioned sitting-room of the 
Stewart homestead at Medfield, Vermont. There 
is a window at back C. hung with lace or cretonne 
curtains, and a stand of flozeers in front of it. 
There is a door R. 3 leading into the entry from 
which opens the outside door. TJiere is another 
door L. 2 leading into the rest of the house. There 
is a mantel below door at R and a fireplace xvith 
andirons, etc. TJiere are old-fashioned ornaments 
on the mantel, brass candlesticks, sea-shells, etc. 
Old-fashioned pictures and worked mottoes hang 
on the wall. Up near the "window is a small old- 
fashioned stand or table on which is a vase of 
flowers, and a match safe with matches. Near it 
is a hassock or footstool. About L. 3 is a small 
organ or melodeon on which are hymn-books, a 
vase of flowers, and possibly brass candlesticks and 
candles. Stool in front of organ. Left of C. 
farther down stage is a marble-top table with a 
large family Bible on it, Priscilla's work-basket 
and a lamp. To the left of it is a small rocking- 
chair without arms, to the right a straight-back 
horse-hair chair. Over R. is a horse-hair sofa 
with two sofa pillows on it. Up near window C. 
is a large old-fashioned rocking-chair with rungs 
across the front. There is a hat rack near door 
R. 3. There are other horse-hair chairs set primly 
against the wall. There is a rag carpet on the 
floor. There are tidies on the backs of the chairs. 
At rise, Priscilla is discovered sitting in the small 

9 



10 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

rock'nig-chair at L. of marble-tof table, down 
stage, serving. 

Enter Jane, excitedly. 

Jane. 
(^Coming doxvn C.) 
Priscilla! Priscilla ! ! I've something to tell you! 
Guess, you never can ! 

Priscilla. 
(Rising, startled.) 
Goodness gracious, what's the matter.'' 

Jane. 
( TriumpJuintly. ) 

I'm engaged to be married! 

Priscilla. 
{Her hands going to her heart.) 
Then John has proposed to you! 

Jane. 
. {Emphatically.) 
No, John ain't! (Priscilla is xAsibly relieved. 
Jane crosses to couch and flings her jacket on it.) 

Land sakes, John ain't the only man in this world, 
thank goodness, or we'd both die old maids ! 

Priscilla. 
{Still rather tremulous.) 
Not John.? Why — who — there ain't anyone else! 

Jane. 
{Crossing to her. She is very brisk in her move- 
ments and crisp in her speech.) 
Oh, Sister, you never think of anyone but John, 
do you.^* Here we've been for the last fifteen years 
with one beau between us, one hope — John Purdy! 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 1 1 

Peiscilla. 

{Her vuimier is gentle and she is less sharp in her 

speech.) 

But he's the only one who ever came a-sparkin', 

ain't he? -. 

Jane. 

{Hanging Iter liat on the rack and going down to 

the sofa and getting her jacket.) 

I know, but what c'n you expect in a one-horse 

town with fifty girls to every single man? {She 

crosses down to Peiscilla again, jacket in hand.) 

Now you are really fond of John. I ain't! 

Priscilla. 
How 3'ou do talk! {She sits and gees ha-ck to her 
sewing. ) 

And John is fond of you ! You wore born for each 

other. 

Priscilla. 

{Pleased.) 

Oh, Jane, do you think so? 

Jane. 
I do ! You were his first love, you should have 
married him years ago- — before he began to think it 
over! {She goes up and hangs up the jacket.) 

Priscilla. 
{Sewing.) 
I'm not like you, Jane, and how sh'd I know he 
wanted me if he never asked me — and he never did ! 

Jane. 
{Coming down to the back of tJic chair R. of table — 
emphatically.) 
Well, I wanted Billy, and he got the necessary en- 
couragement, believe me! Result — engaged! {She 
turns away to C.) 



12 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

Priscilla. 
Billy ! Billy who? 

Jane. 
(Turning toward Iter, still C.) 
And I ain't known him three months ! 

Pbiscilla. 
(Rising- scandalized.) 
Oh, Jane! What will folks say? (Crossing to her.) 
And who're you talkin' about? (They both clip their 
^^g's" but sound their "n's" very distinctly — ^'^ go-in," 
"talk-in." An idea strikes her — pleased.) You 
don't mean Mr. Martin, do you — the Superintendent 
attheFac'try? j^^,^ 

(Nodding.) 
Eh-us! (Or A-yus, New England for "Yes"). 
Why d'ye s'pose I studied type^^Titin' and stenogra- 
phy? I made up my mind if tliis sleepy old town 
could wake up and start a big factory, I'd wake up 
too, and get somewheres! (She crosses to couch.) 

Priscilla. 
Why, Jane, you never talked this way before, and 
you never even mentioned Mr. Martin in that way ! 

Jane. 
(Sitting on the arm of the sofa.) 
Well, there's no use countin' your chickens before 
they're hatched ! But today Billy told me I was the 
best Secretary he'd ever had. An' then he said: 
"Will you marry me?" An' I said: "You bet I will!" 
(Very slight pause. Rising and sitting on sofa.) 
So I'm a-goin' to be married ! 

Priscilla, 
(Disconsolately, turning back to her chair.) 
And I'll be left all alone ! 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED ^13 

Jane. 
Nonsense ! Now Jolin will be able to make up his 
mind, and you'll be Mrs. John, as you should have 
been yeai's ago ! 

Priscilla. 
(Shaking her Jtead mournfully.) 
No, he always liked you better. (She sits.) 

Jane. 
Fiddlesticks! He likes i/ou! I rile him! Then he 
runs to you for sympathy, an' the trouble is, he al- 
ways gets it! You ought to surprise him once in 
awhile! Surprise him an' — (she breaks off suddenly 
as an idea strikes her. Excitedly, clasping her hands 
and rising.) I've got it! 

Priscilla. 
(Also risiihg.) 
What's the matter.? 

Jane. 
(Alight with Jier inspiration, crossing to Priscilla.) 
I'm a'goin' to give him one last surprise and get 
s(|uare at the same time ! ( Wariu/ngly. ) Don't you 
tell him I'm a-goin' to marry Bill Martin ! 

Priscilla. 

Why not.? 

Jane. 

Never you mind! (Indigruintly.) Wastin' our 
time all these years, never girin' either of us a chance 
to say "Yes" or "No" — waitin', till he'd made up his 
mind! Selfish critter! (Slw crosses to hack of sofa 
and rearranges pilloxes — she fixes them so that tJiey 
mil be behind Jier later when she sits dozcm and they 
are needed in "the business.") 



14 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

Priscilla. 
{Loyally.) 
Oh, Jane! John ain't selfish! 

Jane. 

Ain't he? Well, you wait till I get through with 

him ! „ 

Priscilla. 

{Going to her, imploringly and anxiously.') 

Now, Jane, what you goin' to do? 

Jane. 

Get square! ^^ 

^ Jtriscilla. 

{In great distress.) 

Oh, Jane, please don't ! Dear me suz ! An' it's time 

he was here an' you ain't fixed yourself up yet! 

Jane. 
No, an' I ain't a-goin' to fix up, either ! Guess if 
I look good enough for Bill Martin t' ask me t' marry 
him, I look good enough to see John Purdy for the 
seven-thousand-six-hundred an' ninety-fifth time! 

Priscilla. 

{Much worried.) 

I wish you'd tell me what you're goin' to do? You 

frighten me ! , ^ , „ . x 

{UoorbeU rings.) 

Priscilla. 
Ooo-oo-ooh ! There he is now I 

Jane. 
All right, you go t' the door! 

Priscilla, 
No, no, Jane, I can't ! Now promise me to be care- 
ful not to hurt his feelin's! {Bell rings again.) 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED J5 

Jane. 

(Calmly.) 
You goin' t' the door? 

Priscilla. 
(Frightened.) 
Oh, no! jj^^^ 

Then I sh'll have to ! (She exits door R. 3,) 

Priscilla. 
(After fluttering helplessly for a minute.) 
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! (She runs over to the door 

^•) Jane. 

(Off stage.) 
'Evenin', John ! John. 

(Off stage.) 

'Evenin', Jane ! _, 

Priscilla. 

Oh, dear!! (Huns off stage door L.) 
Jane entering. 

Jane. 

Come on in an' hang up your hat! 
(She crosses to chair R. of table L. and sits, taking 
up crochet or knitting work.) 

John follows her on, looks around inquiringly, 
hangs up his Jutt, and comes down C. Placid and 
complacent, looks around. 

John. 

(Inquiringly.) 

Where's Priscilla? _ 

Jane. 

She'll be in in a minute! (Lofoks up from her 

xDork to where he is still helplessly standing. Rather 

sharply.) Well, set down! 



16 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

(John goes up stage, drags down the big rocking- 
chair to a position between Jane's cJudr and the sofa, 
and arranges himself comfortably and deliberately. 
He is deliberate both in speech and action. He 
has a trick common with many New Englanders 
of winding his feet in uncomfortable or axvkward po- 
sitions araund the legs of his chair and around each 
other, these signs becoming more marked as his dis- 
comfort increases. But at the begimning of the scene 

he is quite serene.^ , 

^ ^ John. 

Pretty fair day. , 

Jane. 

( Crisply. ) 

Fair t' middlin'. _ 

John. 

Eh-us. Feels like a weather breeder, don't it? 

Jane. 

Do tell! 

John. 

Speaks of rain. _ 

Jane. 

I want to know! {Slight pause, while John tries 
to make up his mind whether Jaxf.'s brief, perfunc- 
tory idioms indicate that slie is ''''cranky," and he 
hunts up a new subject of conversation.) 

John. 
(Finally, expansively.) 
Jackson asked me to-day would I run for Sheriff! 

Jane. 

Did he.? 

John. 

Eh-us! 

Jane. 

Well, I shouldn't think you'd run f'r anythin'! 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 17 

John. 

(Bridling.) 

Why not? 

Jane. 

(Turning toward him.) 

You're so slow ! ^ 

JOHX. 

(Disgusted.) 
Humpli! (Pause.) Humph! (Further pau^e as it 
sinks deeper in.) He seems t' think I'd be 'lected! 

Jane. 

Humph ! _ 

John. 

(Trying a>gain.) 

How's Priscilla? _ 

Jane. 

Riffht smart. 

•^ John. 

How're you? ^ 

Jane. 

(Tartly.) 

Same's usual! ^ 

John. 

What's the matter? Got a chip on your shoulder? 

Jane. 
No, I ain't, but I was just wonderin'! 

John. 

Wonderin' what? , 

Jane. 

(Pointedly.) 
Why you came this evenin'? 

John. 

(Astounded.) 

Why I came? Why, don't I alius come Tuesday 
nights? 



18 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



Jane. 

Goodness knows you do, and you've been doin' it 

long enough, too! What I'm a-tryin' to find out is 

why you come? John. 

( Flabbergasted. ) 

Why — Avhy — why, to visit with you and Prisciha, 

of course! t 

Jane. 

But why do you want to visit with us.? Got any 

notion in your mind.^* Or has it just got to be a habit .'^ 

Why do vou conic? , 

'' *' John. 

Why — why — (bewildered he struggles for an idea 
(tnd finally produces one triumphantly.^ To git ac- 
quainted ! , 
^ Jane. 

For the land sakes ! 

John. 
(Getting sensitive and rvrathful.) 
Oh, of course, if I ain't wanted, I'll be goin'! {He 
gets up and goes to the hat rack for his hat.) 

Jane. 
( Commandingly . ) 
John Purdy, you come right straight back here 
and set down! (After a moments hesitation he comes 
back in front of his chair but does not sit.) Set 
down ! (She speaks sharply and he obeys as suddenly 
as though her tone had pushed him into the chair. 
She rises and goes up to the back of his chair.) Now, 
see here, I v/ant to know your intentions ! 

John. 

(Rising and edging round his chair, his eyes on 
her all the time, till he gets on the opposite side 
with the chair between them, then — ) 

M — mmy — my — intentions? 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 19 



Jane. 
{Firmly.) 
Yes, your intentions ! You began to come here fif- 
teen years ago. There was no one then to ask you 
what you meant, but now I'm old enough to do mj 
own askin', an' I want to know ! Do you intend to 

marry either of us.'^ _ 

John. 

{Not knowing which way to look, overcome with 

embarrassment. ) 

Why — I — this is so sudden ! 

Jane. 

Well, do you.? ^ 

John. 

I— I— 

Priscilla enters from L. shy and anxious. John 

sees her and with great relief crosses over to her. 

They meet in front of marhle-top table. Jane crosses 

in front of couch. ^ 

John. 

{Shaking Priscilla's hand effusively.) 

Why, Priscilla, mighty glad to see you. Where've 

you been this long while .'^ Was askin' Jane about 

you. You look fust rate! 

Priscilt^a. 

Thank you, John, same to you. {She looks down 

at her hand which he is still shaking and then up at 

him, in surprise.) ^ 

Jane. 

That'll do, John. {They look at her inquiringly.) 

Priscilla's hand must be thoroughly shook by this 

time. {They look down at their hands and then drop 

them self-consciously and quickly.) An' you ain't 

a-goin' to wriggle out of answerin' my question that 

way ! 



20 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

John. 
(Crossing- toward her until he is in front of his own 
chair. Argumentativeli/.) 
Who's a-wrigglin'? 

Jane. 
So you might jest as well set down again! (John 
ancl Priscilla look at each other.) Set down! (All 
three sit down simultaneously. Pause,) 

Priscilla. 
(Anxious.) 
Why — what question, Jane.? 

Jane. 
(Fixing the pillows behind h^r back.) 
John knows. (John wriggles, and finally sits 
tipped on the edge of his chair, looking very uncom- 
fortable.) „ 

Priscilla. 

(In dismay, clasping her hands.) 
Oh, what is it.? You don't look comfortable in that 
chair, John, let me get you the sofy piller. (She 
goes over to the sofa and yanks the soft pillow sud- 
denly from behind Jane's back. Jane drops back 
unexpectedly against the back of the sofa with a 
little exclamation. Priscilla goes over and puts 
cushion behind John's head carefully. He looks self- 
conscious but pleased.) There! That's better! 
(Pleased with herself, she goes back and sits in chair 
L. of table. John looks combatively at Jane as if 
to see what she has to say about it.) 

Jane. 
(Sarcastically. ) 
Yes, get him a sofy piller, but I sh'd think his 
conscience'd need it more'n his back ! That must be 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 21 

very uncomfortable, indeed! (John looks both in- 
dignant and uncomfortable.) 

Priscilla. 
His conscience? Why, what has John done? 

Jane. 

We're talkin' about what lie a'm't done, just n'ow, 
my dear! 

Priscilla. 

{Looking inquiringly from one to the other.) 
Ain't done? 

John. 

{Aggrieved.) 
I don't understand you, Jane, I dunno what's 
come over you ! You never talked this way before ! 

Jane. 
{Knitting.) 
No, I have wasted" a lot of time, haven't I? 

John. 

'Tain't womanly ! 

Jane. 

{Very peppery.) 
Oh., ain't it? Well, it ain't manly to shilly shally, 
either ! 

John. 

{Rising.) 

Shilly shally? Who? 

Jane. 

{Also rising, as they face each other angrily.) 

You ! 

Priscilla. 

{In consternation, running between them.) 

Oh, John ! Oh, Jane ! Mercy sakes alive ! ( Turning 

to John, soothingly.) Set down, John! Set down — 

{she gently pushes him back in his chair) — and — and 

— smoke awhile! {She motions Jane to sit, which 



22 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

Jane docs ungraciously. To John.) I'll get you the 
matches. {She runs up to the match safe on the small 
table up stage and brings it down to L. of John, 
where she stands lighting the match. In the mean- 
time John takes out his package of "3 for 5" Vir- 
ginia cheroots and selects one. Priscilla hands him 
the lighted match.) Light your cigar! {He takes 
the match and lights cheroot. Priscii>la catches 
Jane's disapproving eye and turns her lie ad inde- 
pendently away. John puffs till he gets the cheroot 
thoroughly cdight, then throws match on the floor. 
Priscilla picks it up, a little shocked at his careless- 
ness, puts it in the match tray on the loxoer table. 
Goes over to small rocker L. of table, turns and sur- 
veys John, who is puffing cigar with short angry 
puffs. As she sits in rocker.) Now you'll feel better! 

John. 
{Heatedly.) 
I have not sliilly-shalHed ! 

Jane. 
Have too ! You've been fifteen years niakin' up 
your mind, and you'd be fifteen more if I'd let you! 

John. 
{Rising.) 
That ain't so. That ain't it ! 

Jane. 
Ain't it.^ Do you mean to say you ain't had any 
intentions right along.'' 

John. 
N — n — n o — o — 

Jane. 
{Quickly.) 
Oh ! you ain't.? 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 23 

John. 

{Much flustered.) 

Well — -no — you see — why, I mean — you're both 

like my sisters ! 

•^ Jane. 

Priscilla, did you hear that? He'll be a brother 

to us ! ^ 

John. 

Great Tophet, Jane, how you do twist everything! 

{He sits down wrathfully in great disgust.) 

Priscilla. 
{Earnestly.) 
Don't mind her, John ! How you do talk, Jane ! 
We're always glad to see you, John! (Jane makes 
a wry face.) And I'm sure we never thought of any- 
thing else — (Jane turns accusingly toward her, she 
catches Jane's eye and turns away from her in con- 
fusion. Pause. She looks at John. He is sitting in 
a most uncomfortable position with a very injured 
expression on his face. ) John ! Please, please don't 
look that way! {He changes to an even more uncom- 
fortable position. Unhappily.) You don't look com- 
fortable yet, John! {He is sitting on the edge of his 
chair with one foot on top of the other.) Let me get 
you the footstool! {She runs up stage for it.) 

John. 

( Turning to Jane, meets her eye, sees she is amused. 

Hastily.) 

No, oh no ! _, 

Priscilla. 

Oh, yes! {She puts the footstool at his feet and 

watches him put first one foot gingerly on it with a 

look at Jane, then the other. Much pleased with her 

efforts.) There! Now I'm sure you'll feel better! 

{She sits R. of table.) 



24 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

(John's next ^'business" has been done two ways: 
1. By sitting on the edge of the chair with his feet 
071 the rather high stool, looking foolish and uncom- 
fortable. 2. By beginning to rock in his chair until 
interrupted by Jane's "Go back to the main ques- 
tion," when he stops abruptly.) 

Jane. 
(After the footstool has been placed and Pris- 
ciLLA is seated. Brief pause. Ominously polite.) 
If you're quite comfortable now, John, we'll go back 
to the main question! (John collapses in his chair.) 
You've been keepin' company with us for years, and 
we figgered you intended to marry one of us. Which 
one, we didn't know. Naturally, only one of us 
could win the prize. {She sizes him up and he looks 
most unhappy.) But bein' sisters, either was willin' 
to step aside! But 7iow (rising) you must choose 
between us ! You say to one of us : "Will you marry 

Priscilla. 

(Rising, horrified, all her New England breeding 

aghast.) 

Oh— O— h— h— Oh ! ! ! (Over to John.) John, 

John! Don't listen to her! She's only jokin'! She 

don't mean it ! She don't want to marry you — 

Jane. 
( Quickly. ) 
Sjjeak for yourself, Priscilla ! 

Priscilla. 
(Desperately.) 
I don't want to marry you! (She realizes in con- 
sternation what she has said. John, in extreme sur- 
prise, gets to his feet, his mouth open.) Indeed I 
don't, John! I never thought of such a thing! 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 25 

You'i'e just our good friend, our brother, as you 
said. We neither of us want to marry you ! Please, 
please, forget everything she said ! She loves to tor- 
ment, you know she does! (John Jias looked more 
and more dejected during this speech. He droops 
unmistakably at the end.) Don't look like that, 
John! Please! Please!! (She turns away, wringing 
her hands.) Oh dear me suz ! {She goes ozfer in front 
of rocking-chair. Hopefully.) Let's talk about 
something else! (Slight pause.) Set down! (All 
three sit simultaneously. There is an awful pause. 
Desperately..) What time is it, John? 

John. 
(Taking out his icatch. Lugubriously.) 
Eight o'clock! (Another pause. Nobody helps 
out.) 

PUISCILLA. 

(Earnestly.) 

Isn't there something I can do for you, John? 

(John looks slowly around and meets Jane's eye. 

He shakes his head and sinks back in his chair.) I 

know! (She rises and goes up to door L. % E.) I'll 

get you a glass of root beer! (At the door.) It's so 

refreshing ! _. 

Jane. 

(Dryly.) 

Yes, John, you do look as if you needed sometliing 

refreshing ! _. 

Priscilla. 

Oh, Jane! (She exits door L. 'B E. Jane looks at 

the door to see that she has really gone; John as 

though he would like to follow her.) 

Jane. 
(Briskly.) 
Well, as Priscilla don't want you, it only remains 



26 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

for jou to decide whether you want me. If not, I'll 
look somewhcre's else ! 

John. 
(Rising in surprise.) 
Somewhere's else.'* Jane 

(Calmly.) 
Eh-us. Maybe you thought you was the only 
single man in Medfield. 

John. 
(Immediately curious.) 
Who is he.? j^^,^_ 

(Airily.) 
I dunno why I sh'd tell you ! 

John. 
(With sudden suspicion.) 
I know ! It's that pesky dude up t' the factory — 
Bill Martin! j^^^ 

(Flaring up.) 
He ain't a dude ! (She puts her knitting down and 
rises.) Just because he wears good clothes! (She 
goes down stage.) j^^^^ 

(Decidedly.) 
Well, I won't have it ! 

Jane. 
You won't have it! Humph! 

John. 
(Crossing over to her.) 
Why he ain't known you three months ! 

Jane. 

How long do you expect him to know me — fifteen 
.years? Jo„n. 

Quit now ! There's such a thing as undue haste ! 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 27 

Jane. 
Well, nobody ever accused you of any undue haste. 

John. 
{Nettled — turning away from her.) 
Well, I won't have it! Understand? 

Jane. 
Like to know what right you have to dictate to 
me ! T 

JOHN. 

I'll make it my right! 

Jane. 
{Pinning him down — firmly.) 
Are you prepared to marry me? 

John. 

{Hesitates a second, then his a/ngcr gets the better 
of him, he comes over to her, bringing his fist down 
into his other luind.) 

Yes, by Juniper! 

(Jane is absolutely astounded by this unexpected 
answer, and is rather at a loss for a moment. John, 
seeing her surprise, realizes what he has done, and 
turns away. He looAs longingly at the door where 
Priscilla disappeared. ) 

Jane. 
{Faltering.) 

Wh}^, John, this — this is a surprise — I — I — {She 
looks perplexed. Finally she makes up her mind 
what to do, laughs. Goes over to John in a brisk, 
businesslike way. Crisply.) Well, we're engaged 
now, ain't we? {He turns in surprise.) Well? Ain't 
you goin' to kiss me? Or put your arm around me? 
{He looks much embarrassed, so she puts his right 
arm around her and lays her head on his shoulder. 
He looks over at door L., terribly unhappy.) 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 



Well, I never expected this happiness! (She looks 
up at him and sighs sentimentally. He looks at her, 
then away again.) I always thought you preferred 
Priscilla, but it seems it's mc! {Anxiously.) You're 
sure it's me, John ? You ain't a-bein' rushed into this, 
by any chance, are you? (John wipes the perspira- 
tion from his face loith a large handkerchief.) Every- 
thin's settled now. I'll marry you, John, and Pris- 
cilla will marry Bill Martin — 

John. 
(Pulling away from her, thoroughly startled.) 
Priscilla? Not Priscilla? 
Jane. 
( Calmly. ) 
Well, why not Priscilla? You're engaged to me, 
ain't you? joj,^ 

{Sputtering in his wrath.) 
Engaged to you ! Engaged nothin' ! ! You — you 
— you forced me to pop to you! 
Jane. 
{Trying not to laugh.) 
Why, John, the idea ! 

John. 
Hush up now and hear me talk sense! 

Jane. 
I'd love to hear you talk sense, John ! 

John. 
Smart, ain't you, gettin' me to pop to you when I 
don't want you ! You talk too much and that kind of 
a woman ain't no good for any man's comfort ! 
Jane. 
{Bubbling over.) 
Why, John ! John, you sound almost alive I 



GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 29 

John. 
( Tu rning xcra thfidly. ) 
Alive! I'll show you whether I'm alive or not! 
{He kicks the footstool out of the way and shoves the 
big rocker up stage. Comes down to Jane.) I'm 
a-goin' to take Priscilla away from that stuck-up 
Bill Martin ! 

Jane. 

{Jeering.) 

Yes, you are ! 

John. 

Yes, I be! Because I've been waitin' for Priscilla 
to grow up and git acquainted with me, you think 
I'm slow! 

Jane. 

Not slow, John, just careful! 

John. 
Yah! I'll show you! {Over to door L. Calls.) 
Priscilla ! Priscilla ! ! 

Pkiscilla entering with mug of root beer. 

Priscilla. 
Here's your root beer, John ! 

John. 
Root beer, shucks ! That ain't half strong enough 
for me, the way I feel! When I get through here, 
I'm a-goin' down to Ed's and get some reg'lar beer! 

Jane. 
John, you're improvin'! 

John. 

{Turning to her.) 

You shut up! {To Priscilla.) You set that beer 

down, Priscilla, and listen to mc! {She sets the mug 

she carries down on the table hastily.) You ain't 

a-goin' to maiTy that dude, Bill Martin — 



30 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

Priscilla. 
Why, John, Jane's goin' to — (Jane makes fran- 
tic signals to her to keep quiet. John interrupts.) 

John. 
You're goin' to marry me! You hear? 

Priscilla. 
Oh, John, this is so sudden ! 

John. 
'Tain't neither sudden ! It's been comin' on for fif- 
teen years ! ^ 

Priscilla. 

{Still trying to explain.) 

But, John, Jane's going to — (Jane again makes 

signals.) ^ 

^ ' John. 

{Interrupting.) 

Jane, nuthin' ! She's too all-fired smart to suit me! 

I want a woman that'll do as she's told, and make 

me comfortable same as Ma made Pa, and you're that 

kind ! t 

Jane. 

But John, you ain't asked her yet ! 

John. 
{Turning to Jane.) 
Don't have to ask her ! I'm a-tellin' her ! The 
Book says, "Wives, obey your husbands !" {To Pris- 
cilla.) You a-goin' to obey me, Priscilla.'* 

Priscilla. 

{Starting with a little rush toward him, then halting, 

demurely. ) 

Y — yes, John ! , 

•^ Jane. 

See here, John ! You can't marry Priscilla ; you're 

engaged to mc ! 



, GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 31 

John. 

Engaged to jou? I ain't neither! You just got 
me all kerflummuxed ! 

Jane. 
John Purdy, ain't you goin' to marry me? 

John. 
No, I ain't. 

Priscilla. 

Why — ceee, Jane! 

Jane. 

(With an air of finality.) 

Then I'll sue you for breach of promise ! 

John. 
Breach o' promise? You can't! You ain't got no 
witness ! 

Jane. 

Oh, yes, I have ! There's Priscilla ! 

John. 
Priscilla? I'll fix that! The law says a wife can't 
testify 'gainst her husband! (Grabs her up in his 
arms and runs over to door R.) 

Jane. 
John, John, where are you going? 

John. 
Over t' the parson's with your witness, to git ac- 
quainted! (Jane laughs and claps her hands.) 

Curtain. 



32 GETTIN' ACQUAINTED 

(Or this ending may be used if desired. It begins 
xcith the speech of Priscilla — -"Y-yes, Jolm !" — 
twelve speeches before curtain. Use second warning 
and curtain cues for this.) 

Priscilla. 

(Starting with a little rush toward him, and then 

halting demurely.) 

Y — yes, John. 

Jane. 

Don't be rash, Priscilla. Better wait and think it 

over ! 

John. 

(Turning to Jane.) 

Huh! You know a lot, don't you! You git out 

now ! I've got something private to say to Priscilla ! 

Jane. 
(Going up to door R. 3 E.) 
That's right, John ! Get acquainted ! (She makes 
a quick laughing exit, R. 3 E.) 

Priscilla. 
(Going over to John, shyly.) 
What you goin' to say, John ? 

John. 
Ain't a-goin' to say nuthin'! Goin' to kiss you! 
(He takes Priscilla in his arms in a bear hug and 
kisses her.) 

Curtain. 



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